The Medicine

When you go through the IVF process, there are lots of things you have to remember to take. Medicines HAVE to be taken at a certain time. I've had a lot of people ask "why are you on birth control if you're trying to have a baby?" Well I will do my best to attempt to explain that.

The birth control is taken for 21 days to make your cycle timely. Suppression medication is then taken to "shut down" your reproductive system so that the doctors can control what happens. Stimulation medication is also taken to stimulate the ovaries, which makes you produce more eggs than usual. There is a "trigger shot" given 36 hours prior to retrieval to signal the follicles to release the eggs. Then, progesterone is taken to make sure the lining of the uterus is ready.

All the while remembering the time to take these medicines, refrigerate when needed, warming when needed, taking prenatal vitamins, etc. It all starts running together...you can't remember which side you gave the shot last time, you second guess yourself about whether or not you took your vitamins. Yikes! Lots at stake here...I've got two of these full now.

Hope

We still do not know the outcome yet for this cycle, but I wanted to share some of the things that have helped me through some of the darkest times in my life, especially in our infertility journey, in hopes that maybe it can help one of you:

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

"But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:30

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. Isaiah 40:29-31

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. Psalm 28:7a

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. John 14:13

freeee

I am spending a few days here in Oklahoma City for doctors appointments. Charity is with me and we have scoped out the free and relatively cheap things to do! We've compiled a list for anyone who is interested, and maybe when you come you will know where to go and what to do if you're on a budget!

1. Oklahoma City Bombing site- The museum costs to get in but if you just want to go look at the site and the memorial chairs and all that, it is totally free. The only thing that costs is parking (see #4).

2. Myriad Botanical Gardens- We did not do this but looked it up and it is free. Looks neat if you are into plants and things...not me.

3. Bricktown- You can walk along the canal and there are lots of neat little shops and tons to eat. We parked for free behind the theater and Toby Keith's restaurant. Eating recommendation: Texadelphia. Oh my, it is YUM! Dessert recommendation: Pinkitzel. It's just outside of Bricktown but you can walk. How delicious does this look?!

4. Trolley- The trolley we found took us around town to the baseball stadium, OKC bombing site, transit station, water sports park, Bass Pro Shops, and the botanical gardens. And it's free to ride! We parked behind Toby Keith's restaurant in bricktown and got on at Bass Pro. Sadly, we had no where to go so we were just riding to be riding! :/

5. Thursday night street band- In Bricktown, every Thursday in the summer from 7:30-9:30 is a live band. We even had dancing entertainment by a 3 year old! :)

6. Parks- Charity and I found a park by the lake (about a mile from our hotel) and ran tonight. So nice. It was hot but the wind was blowing and the trail was really nice with people on it so we felt safe.

7. "Dead People's Stuff"- of course, the "stuff" is not free- but there are hundreds of old doors, washboards, light fixtures, frames...pretty much anything old was in there. It was so neat to look around. A bit expensive but if you're into antiques, this is the place to go. This is just some of the old doors...

8. Ted's- Oh. my. stars. This place is soooo good. Your entree will not be free (Mexican restaurant); however, you get free cheese dip, salsa, and a sopapilla. I mean, really....what more could you ask for?

...Yes, I did just bullet this post.

Thank You

Dear friends and family-

We recently received a very sweet card with inspirational messages and a monetary gift, signed "all your friends." Although we don't know who specifically contributed we want to say a huge thank you to all of you. If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about- that's ok! We are so grateful to you, too, for your thoughts and prayers. Words cannot describe how incredibly blessed we are. Knowing our money would be "tight" this summer, I trusted that God would take care of us as we followed His direction in this infertility journey. And He has blessed us beyond measure with just simple little things. Here are some to mention: finding out we get a discount on our cell phone bill through Kyle's work, Kyle getting a raise, receiving an insurance check in the mail for almost the exact amount we had to pay the clinic last week, finding a hotel that gives a "medical" discount less than a mile away from our clinic. And to top these off, we get this card to help with any expenses we need. Kyle and I both are just overwhelmed at how giving people are and how God has taken care of us. We just sat in amazement the other day reading and re-reading the card. We truly do have the best friends and family anyone could ask for.

Thank you, again, from the bottom of our hearts.

Love,

Kyle and Alana

Here we go again

I got all of my medicine in the mail yesterday. I went through to make sure it was all there. Yep. All there. It seems I got more needles in this package...I'm thinking that's not a good thing. Maybe they just sent extra?

I start the first injection medicine on Monday and will be taking it until the transfer. I don't want to post when specific appointments are because I just want it all to work, and if it doesn't I really don't want people to be asking. Not that any of you would, but I'd just rather let you all know when we are pregnant. :) I can tell I have been dealing with this for awhile because, used to, people would say things like, "Oh, just quit trying and it will happen." or "You guys are trying too hard." or "If you adopt, then you'll get pregnant..that's what happened with ______." While I know all of these people mean well, it used to just drive me bonkers when people would say this. I realized they just do not understand the emotions that go along with not being able to start a family. Those statements can be very hurtful if you let them be. Although I know it will hurt if this try doesn't work, I do know that God has a plan for our life and he is working everything out for good- and this is just the next step in the journey. It just would be a little helpful if we knew exactly what journey we were on. :)

We did find out that we get an adoption benefit from Kyle's work. It's seeming like whatever route we end up taking, God is going to bless it. He has allowed us to do the fertility treatment at a much lower cost. Most people's insurance does not cover infertility. Kyle's does, and we are out the copays, medicine, and hotels/gas to the doctor. Which is still a lot but it's about 40% of the total cost of the treatment. I always ask Kyle, "How are you supposed to know what God is telling us to do? I mean, He's not gonna say- Hey, how about you do IVF?" We came to the conclusion the other night that he opens doors for you. If and when we are to stop this process that we are doing now, the door will close...somehow...and we will know it. That is the only thing that keeps me sane!

Please pray for us as we begin this second trial, and hopefully last trial. We are ready to fill up our new Tahoe with babies. :)

**I'm adding this in the bottom because her hubby just posted on facebook, so I think I can share now. But so happy for one of my best friends for their baby due in December! Love you Whitney!**

Went through my pictures today and some of my favorites:

Grace

I had this big long post and lost it all...grrr. Here it is in shorter version:

We have all done things we are not proud of. Or maybe some of us are doing things we know are not pleasing to the one who created us. The word grace I think is sometimes over-used and overlooked. It is the love and mercy given to us by God, not because we deserve it but because He wanted us to have it. It is the English translation of a Greek word meaning "that which brings delight, joy, happiness, and good fortune." So basically God wants us to have all of these things even when we don't act like we give a rip. :)

In college is when I felt this grace full force. I was making it; however, I felt like I was trapped. When people would mention what I was doing I would just get angry with them. And I remember wanting to do what I was doing even more. How stupid is that? There is no gray areas, folks. It is what it is. Right or wrong. Don't let the "world" tell you you can make up your own rules. I mean, certainly you can, but what do you have to live for if you're just making it up as you go? Strive for something...
I remember crying and crying because I felt alone, and then began to pray. But I felt like that was getting me nowhere because it was like they were hitting a brick wall. I just wanted to punch the wall out of the way. I made a conscious effort to change how I made my decisions. I finally felt, after a while of the whole brick wall thing, like I was out from under a "net." That I could breathe. I feel like I have been given grace- even after deliberately turning my back and running the other way.

Again, grace is love and mercy that is given to us by God. I could sit here and list a thousand things I have been blessed with all because of GRACE. And even after I have made the wrong decisions! I could only imagine how my life would be different had I not turned away from what I was doing. I will promise you it would not be what I have today. (Don't get me wrong, still make bad decisions sometimes! Just not deliberately!)

So...all of that to tell you this. I got a tattoo. It's the word grace written in hebrew on the inside of my foot. I've wanted this for a long time, but have just been too chicken to get it. And Kyle is not a big fan. But, 3 of us girls got one after spending 2 nights together in Hot Springs. It was our first and likely only tattoo, and each of them meant something to us. I am sure to be reminded of what I am given through grace on a daily basis. I love it.

The Old Folks

This weekend was our 10 year class reunion. A few of us camped all weekend, but we had a lunch Saturday at the lake for everyone. Steak, potato salad, beans, rolls, desserts. Yum! Over the course of the weekend, we had about 65% of our class show up (that sounds a little better than 14!) We only had 21 in our graduating class. We had a lot of fun just talking, looking at pictures, taking new pictures, cooking, tubing, and playing with everyone's little ones. :) Who knew our class could make such pretty babies?

Saturday at lunch

 With our families

 Our own personal Justin Beiber concert :)