Our Life in 2012

2012 has gone by so fast for us. With a roller coaster of emotions all year long, we are forever grateful for the good and the bad, and the blessings that come in ways we don't always understand.

January started out with a big hopeful with our first IVF attempt (don't worry, I'm not going through every month!). After it failed and we were basically told we may never have kids on our own, the much needed break came. Although devastated, we were aware that all things work together for those that love God according to his purpose. And although we knew this, it was quite hard to swallow.

March was a fun-filled vacation with my family :) 8 people in an 8 passenger Yukon is the best idea ever! We had some laughs and some fights and went through about 3 boxes of Kleenex!

April came and a trip to Haiti forever changed my life for the better. A little bit of my heart will forever be there with the children in the orphanage and the people of Mariani. Such sweet, innocent faces and looking for hope in whoever will give them a glimpse of it.

June we decided to go for a second opinion with fertility in Oklahoma City. Dr. Kallenberger and his staff are truly a blessing in our lives. The hope they gave us, the attention that was given to us, and the professionalism of their clinic was far beyond what we could have expected. I remember him saying, "It's not a matter of IF you get pregnant, it's when and how." I guess God led us through the bad to bring us to the good.

July was the IVF procedure and although scared to death to get the same results as last time, we went ahead with full confidence. And we had 5 perfect little embryos. We found out shortly after that we would be expecting our miracle baby in April 2013. Baby or babies??!! Just one :)

October is when we found out we were having a boy. I searched and searched for a name that fit. We came up with "Brasen" which means "God's gift." I didn't want to change the spelling or anything from when I found it because it was perfect to me.

December Kyle had a much needed surgery to remove cysts (everything is ok). He is still on the mend and hopefully will have a full recovery and the cysts won't return!

We are looking forward to a great year and we cannot wait to meet our baby boy in just a couple of months! I know some of you are going through times in your life that are not so great. Remember that God has a plan for your life and He always knows best. Our job is to follow after Him and seek Him in all we do and He will always take care of us.

Happy New Year!

Help

Tragedy has struck and we are all left wondering the same question: Why?

How someone can take the life of an innocent child (or anyone for that matter)- whether it be one or 27 is incomprehensible.

There is fund set up to assist families in need by the United Way of Western Connecticut. You can read more about where the funds go here. It's set up through the Newtown Savings Bank.

Kyle's cousin has set up a page where you can directly donate using paypal. Each week the donations will be forwarded on to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund (set up by the United Way mentioned earlier). This is just an easy way for those of us that do not live near to feel like we are helping out. If you feel uncomfortable donating something over the internet, or do not have a paypal account and would like to help, please get with me. I have the physical address to the support fund. Go here if you would like to make your donation online.

Even just a dollar would go a long ways. Most of all, lets keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

6 months

To our sweet baby-

You are now 6 months old (in the womb!) We cannot believe how fast you are growing and how fast time is flying by. Mommy and daddy have been super busy. Your room is all cleaned out and I have the paint samples to pick out your wall color. Your walls will be gray and the accent colors are white, yellow and turquoise. Painting in just a few short weeks! What a sweet baby you will be in your room. Your Papa is making your crib, and your Mamaw is helping refurbish your changing table and rocking chair. Your cousin Peggy is making your crib blanket and I am so excited to see it. Your KK and Pops have already bought you a mound of clothes and books. Mommy is filling your closet with clothes and shoes (on sale of course!). You are one very special and blessed little man.

You are around 12 inches long and weigh about a pound and a half! Your skin is beginning to get pink since your blood flow is increasing. Your lungs are also growing and becoming more mature each day! Your little nose is opening this week and your are beginning to practice breathing (with fluid!). What have you been doing? Well, you are kicking like crazy. You can get in some awkward positions and make it hard for mommy to breathe! You like my right side and my bladder. Daddy tries to feel you kick sometimes and you all of a sudden go into hiding. Which is hilarious.

We have registered for you some things that we think you will need. I hope your friends who welcome you into the world don't laugh at what we picked! We have no idea what we are doing and no idea what we will need. So we just kind of winged-it! You will have all you need, I do know that. Guess who was complaining of their back hurting after registering? Your daddy! Poor guy can't hang. We can run circles around him!!

Happy 6 months, Brasen! You are our miracle. We love you so much.

Thankful

Here lately I am very thankful for naps and a clear schedule! The littlest things have become tiresome- not necessarily in the moment but afterwards! This year Kyle and I have so much to be thankful for. First off I am thankful for my salvation and for a God who is both bigger and smarter than I am. For showing us just how big He is and loving me just the same. Who else can take something the size of the end of a needle and create a life from it? Life in itself (both here and eternally) is truly a miracle. We are in awe of His work and could not be more excited for Brasen to arrive.

What has been going on around here? Well, Kyle killed a buck yesterday. He was beginning to think it was not his year to hunt. I told him it's because he's had such good luck in the previous years, that he has just worn it out! He's hunting Ft. Chaffee today so maybe he will get another one. For his pride's sake. :)

The Christmas decorations are up! It took all afternoon yesterday with some snack breaks in between but we are good to go! I decided to go ahead and get it done while I had the energy! I got to go through what I don't use and put it in the yard sale pile. Which is growing and is now in Brasen's room. Planning to have that the first weekend in Decemeber.

My sisters and I have decided to get mom sibling pictures for Christmas. We have that scheduled in early December...now it's deciding what to wear! I'm excited!

Black Friday shopping is almost here! We go to Branson and shop the outlet malls but are thinking we need to hit WalMart this year for a few things. Never tried the WalMart thing so I'm a bit nervous. I would prefer not to get pushed around for something that I can pay full price for without all the commotion. We will see how that turns out. We usually eat a big breakfast, nap, shop more, do dinner and a movie or show or something. Very excited.

I will be 21 weeks tomorrow. I feel great and Brasen is growing by the day! Kyle felt him kick for the first time 2 days ago. He really likes my sides and my bladder. Such an amazing feeling.

Here is what my house looks like as of yesterday!

Hoping this will bring better luck to the basketball team...

Happy Holidays!!

Halftime

To Our Sweet Baby Brasen-

Now that everyone knows you are a little boy, we can say "he!" And no more Junior or Judith! Mommy is thankful for that! Your name was chosen as soon as we found out we were expecting you. I searched for names that meant "gift from God" or "miracle" or anything along that line. Mostly I found names I couldn't pronounce, but at the end of one list was "Brasen" meaning "God's gift." It was perfect, and daddy loves it too. So Brasen it is.

You have now been growing inside of mommy's belly for 20 weeks! You weigh about 10.5 ounces and are about 10 inches long from head to heel. Babycenter.com says you are about the size of a banana! You are kicking or punching like crazy, and I can feel it most days. The past few days I have actually been able to SEE it. It is the most amazing feeling in the world and I stop whatever I am doing to try and feel it from the outside. I think you may be a bit of a trickster, because I yell for daddy to come feel when you kick, and then you stop! It aggravates him and I think it's funny. :) I know as you grow he will have plenty of chances to feel you practicing your karate moves. I read that you sleep 12-14 hours per day or more. Luckily, you are not bouncing around yet when I am sleeping! Your heart rate remains around 154 consistently. Here you are at the halfway mark!!

I started cleaning out what will be your room. Your closet is already cleaned out and has a few baby things in it. Daddy is not happy that he has to share his man cave with my painting supplies. But, too bad. We can give up a little room for you. :) We'll start the painting and moving furniture hopefully over Christmas break.

Thanksgiving is coming up and I hope you like all of the fixings because mommy is super excited for all of the turkey, dressing, veggies, and pies that are coming up. I know you will love it too. :) We are most thankful this year for you. We are blessed beyond measure and you will always be our gift from God. We love you so much.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Boy Oh Boy

Today was our gender reveal party: is Baby Klober a boy or a girl? Guests chose a bow or a mustache for their guess. I sent them on a scavenger hunt (boy team vs. girl team) and the end result was a painted pumpkin. LOVED everything about today. :)

 Team Boy

 Team Girl

IT'S A BOY!

Brasen Kyle will be here around April 1, 2013! 

Happy Anniversary

Today, exactly 5 years ago, I was extremely nervous- getting my hair and makeup ready, making sure my dress and everything that goes with it was on correctly, hoping I didn't forget anything. Our wedding day was perfect. I loved the colors, the weather, the people that were there with us. It was even on a Sunday, so it makes it even more special today.

I'm thankful for what all Kyle has taught me: patience, love, persistence, strength, faith.

I'm thankful for what he is to me: best friend, confidant, provider, protector, encourager.

We are blessed to have gone on lots of trips together: Cancun, Jackson Hole Wyoming, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, ski trips to Colorado, and many short road trips to Branson, Dallas, Memphis, and most recently frequent trips to Oklahoma City.

Although our life now is not at all what I expected when we got married, I would not trade it for anything. Everything we have had thrown at us and tried to knock us off our path, we have had to endure together. I am so blessed to call him my husband. We spent this weekend at Petit Jean and the leaves were gorgeous. We had a nice time doing nothing. :)

Here are some surprises Kyle got this week:

Happy Anniversary, Dear. I love you to pieces.

A different note

I posted this picture (16 weeks) to facebook so some of you may have already seen it. I'm working on putting a book together with the embryo pictures, the ultrasound pics, and the belly pics on my macbook. Can't wait til it's done! We are 17 weeks today, I'm just a tad behind.

Kyle, on the other hand, decided to go camera crazy on me (I have to adjust the camera every time before he takes a picture or it is super blurry). He said, "Look, it's a photo shoot!" and just started taking pictures, turning the camera, turning his head...you name it. Our poor, poor child has one crazy daddy.

On a different note:

I have come to realize lately that money can separate families, destroy relationships, and create harsh feelings. Not necessarily money itself but the love of it and the greed that it manifests when present. Luckily I have not yet experienced this in my own life, but watching my parents do all they can to help someone in their "time of need" and to watch the selfishness that takes place with no appreciation given in return, not to mention physically paying back debt. It is so frustrating and angers me probably more than it does them. My dad just says, "It's ok." Well in the grand scheme of life of course it is ok. Life goes on and God provides. It's just the principle of the situation and the lack of respect for what has been given. I guess I just don't understand why some people can't just do the right thing anymore.

End Rant.

To Our Miracle Baby

To Our Sweet Miracle Baby-

You may not know it yet, but you are already a spoiled little thing. Mommy and daddy are crazy about you. Mommy and daddy's mommy and daddy are also so excited. Already baby beds going up, books being bought, and diapers being stocked by grandparents. As we sit here tonight watching The Voice, we long for you to be here to be able to play with you, to look at you, and to rock you to sleep. We will find out if you are a girl or a boy at the end of this month. (Mommy can NOT wait- daddy calls you "Junior" or "Judith" depending on what his mood is that day). The general consensus is that you are a boy. I have no feeling whatsoever- I just want you to be healthy! :)

You have already spent 16 little weeks growing. I cannot believe it. You are the size of an avocado (about 5 inches long), and you weigh about 4-5 ounces. You have been good to me in that I have not been sick at all. I just love to sleep! I have not had any cravings other than I prefer spicy food over sweets. I think I felt a little flutter the other night- maybe you were on the move? It was very short and I'm not positive that's what it was, but I'm believing it is! Lately on our doppler, your heartbeat has been very strong and I can pick it up almost immediately. Unless I am trying to catch it on the screen and take a picture- in that case you turn into a little acrobat and move all around and I have to chase you! It has been between 150-156 consistently.

I pray for you every day. For you to grow healthy in physical size. For your brain to develop and grow (that's the OT in me, I think!). For you to develop a beautiful personality. For you to love God above all else. And for us as your parents to make the best decisions for you while you are unable to make your own. I don't want to rush through the next few months, but we have waited and prayed for you for so long, and cannot wait for you to be here.

You truly are a miracle.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Oh, Baby, baby

The other night I decided to whip out the doppler, for the tenth time, to just see if it would pick up the baby's heartbeat. I had not been able to find it but I wasn't getting discouraged because I knew it would be hard to pick up that tiny heart. But Thursday it picked it up loud and clear! I yelled at Kyle who was on the phone. Thinking I was hurting, he ran in there and I said, LISTEN!! We got to hear it for as long as we wanted and not just a one or two minute ultrasound. So sweet.

We had our first appointment today with my regular doctor. She was so excited for us. She took her time and answered all of our questions and went over everything possible with us. I was mad at myself last time for not videoing the ultrasound, since Kyle wasn't with me. The baby was moving like crazy and he missed it. :( So this time we taped it! The baby wasn't as squirmy as it was last time but oh, how precious.

We are up to a Lemon

This week, my pregnancy app says baby Klober is the size of a lemon. It's strange that something that big can be in your belly and you can't feel it yet. I know it will come, it's just weird to me. Here are belly pics so far for months 1, 2, and 3.

 Month 1 (more of a "before" shot)

Month 2 

Month 3

Month 2 was a bad picture- we took like 3 and Kyle said, "You sure are picky with these belly pics." Well, if you could get my actual belly in it instead of the kitchen table...He did better month 3 :)

I had a tiny scare this morning at work. About 8:45 I felt a little light-headed. I ate a handful of some nuts I had by my desk, and got really clammy. I took that child back and went to the nurse and had her check my blood sugar. It was 37. That's the lowest it's been, to my knowledge. She had me stay in there and eat peanut butter and drink some juice. 20 minutes later it was up to 47. Still low but I felt a ton better. I ate a few grapes and went back an hour later and it was 85. I called my doctor to just see if I needed to do anything and if she thought the baby was ok. The nurse called back and told me that can be normal because your body is working super hard for both you and baby. She just said to make sure and eat something protein-rich every 2 hours. I was eating about 6 times a day but I guess that wasn't enough for the little stinker. :) Hopefully I will not have to go through that again. It was not fun. Good news is, as of Saturday, I am in my second trimester!