Clean Slate

Once again, I am slowing down blogging. Not intentionally. I have been helping at the hospital with home health patients, and still need to do my year-end taxes and get on the phone with an insurance company regarding one of my little guys so they will hopefully pay me! :) I had so much to accomplish over this break but sadly I haven't got much of it done. My hope is in next Monday and Tuesday. And here's my list:
-bill insurance company
-clean up Christmas decorations
-clean the house (so very desperately needs it)
-write two evals
-organize tax info...ummm, some of it hasn't been updated since June... :/
-finish painting my few non-Christmas orders (7 canvases, one pair of shoes, 2 canvas bins)

I need more than 24 hours in a day.

I had a great Christmas. Kyle surprised me with a Nikon D3000. I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing but I love it. I need any and all pointers. I didn't ask for it, as I didn't really ask for anything big. I thought this year we would kind of do the minimum since we have all the dr bills. But he said, "You surprise me with stuff all the time, so let me surprise you." And he did...I love it. I've always said I wanted a "big, nice camera" before we had kids, and he just remembered me saying that. Now, everyone is tired of getting their picture taken.

...and...we get to go to the Cotton Bowl! So excited. Spending the night after the game in Dallas, then Saturday with friends also going to the game. Saturday night with Mary Beth and Alex! Can't wait.

Please keep us in your prayers, as we both have appointments next week. I have the endometrial injury on the 4th. After that I will begin my medicine daily. Can't wait to get this started and see what is in store for us. Excited and nervous. Anxious and apprehensive. But hopeful and humble.

Sheree, if you are reading this...I got the Princess book for Christmas that you gave me the quote out of. Can't wait to get to reading. Thank you again for sharing with me. :)

Happy New Year!

Christmas Spirit

I love going to work around Christmas. I love my job anyway, but around Christmas is so fun. The kids adore the decorations and crafts and I love to hear what they want from Santa. The innocence of a child is so evident this time of year. Leaving our quiet room the other day, a first grader turns around and looks at everyone...grins...and belts out "AND A HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRR!!" Priceless.

I've been crunching it with Christmas orders. I've got most of them done and at this point I'm prioritizing...who needs their order by what date. And it's working so far. You may get your order on the last day you told me you needed it, but you got it! Last minute orders have come in too. I just can't say no to people I know. My paint room is...well, disastrous. Or maybe that is an understatement. It's kind of scary. But I will manage. Kyle may not, but I will.

We had a bible study at our house last night for our age people. I loved it. So fun to hear what the bible says with your friends, and talk about how it is applicable to our lives right now. We have decided to meet about every 2 weeks in our homes. I'm really excited about it.

The IVF nurse called, and mailed me a "calendar" of events. When she said, "Just follow your calendar and you'll do fine," I was kind of relieved. Although I seem type A with lists and calendar things, some parts of me (like my paint room) are so NOT type A. So if all I have to do is follow this calendar, we're golden. I can do a calendar! I got the paper and it states the dates and times I take each med. And a "possible ultrasound and lab" every once in awhile so I know I may have to miss work that day. I'm going to get with my family over the break and decide who goes with me when so that can all be worked out. My next appointment is January 4. I will be doing the endometrial injury to clear the lining to start fresh. I guess. I hope. He said just in case I do have endometriosis this would help, plus being on the birth control for longer than usual.

The IVF pharmacy called the next day just to confirm we are good to go. I said, "yes ma'am!" She says she will call me within a few days with a quote for our meds. :/ I am kind of nervous about the amount, but I'm putting a large number in my head so maybe it won't be quite as bad as I had thought.

I still have my cough, which is getting better; however, I seem to have pulled a muscle on the right side of my ribcage. Last night it felt like I was being stabbed in the side when I was trying to sleep. I ended up in the recliner and got a few hours of sleep. I'm hoping this will end soon as this is what I have consumed over the past month: 2 packages of cough drops, 2 bottles of cough medicine, a shot of Roceflin (not sure on the spelling), a Z-pack, and a small jar of Vicks. And Kyle's nerves are somewhere in that list. Bless his heart.

Thanks for all the prayers and love. Maybe when we have good news to share I can start doing more pictures. Our life is kinda boring and not many pictures (interesting, that is) are taken!!

Updates

I really wish it would have snowed here, and I believe it was cold enough! The temperature kept dropping as the day went on. My dad went with me to my appointment today, since Kyle didn't have to be there. The infection is slowly going away and he was able to do the ultrasound today. The cyst was almost gone, but it was not even big enough to be a concern. Good news #1.
He also did a trial transfer, which is where he goes in to see which catheter to use when we do the actual embryo transfer. He said everything looked good and was easily accessible (strangely put). Good news #2.
All of our labs from last Monday came back normal. Good news #3.

All of this to say that we are on track for IVF. We will begin stimulation medicines the beginning of January. Not sure what date yet, and it's bugging us because we kinda want to go to the Cotton Bowl! I asked the nurse to call me ASAP and let me know so we can get tickets if we can go. She just laughed. But seriously, I need to know!

Woo Pig Sooie!

We're All In This Together

Monday was the 28th and the big IVF class. Thank you to those who called or texted that day, even if you didn't know it was a scary and exciting day for us. The "class" consisted of me, Kyle, and the nurse. We went over what would happen to our embryos in case we got divorced...I mean, first thing! Kyle said, "Wait, does this cause divorces and you have this situation frequently?" She just laughed, but said that they are our "property" I guess and in the event something like that did happen, we would have joint custody of them and have to decide what to do. I just told her to move on because we get that concept and it's not going to happen! So, then we talked about the specifics of all of the procedures and how long I would be on medicine and act like Addison (I think that's her name...) on Private Practice! Thanks Mary Beth for the not so hopeful comparison :)

I had an infection which was causing pain and bronchitis-type symptoms which did not help. Minor setback I suppose. I'm still hacking like crazy and driving me, Kyle and everyone else around me crazy. I just can't stop coughing. And...can't take meds since I'm on a different medication. Anyways, hopefully we get that all worked out...

We both got our blood drawn. I get mine done around once a month there. This was Kyle's first time and he whined the entire time. He took off the bandage and you could see one little dot. Please...if he had to endure half the tests, procedures, picking, and prodding that I've had to during all of this I think he would quit!

So here goes our timeline:
1. Next Monday- Another visit for an ultrasound for me to make sure all is well (cyst gone), and a Trial Transfer. Doctor basically "pretends" he is placing the embryo to see dimensions and where he needs to put things. This is what I got out of the explanation anyway.
2. Sometime before the end of the month- Kyle goes back for a complete analysis of the swimmers. So far, they've been gold medal champs!
3. Beginning of January- start the meds, which include natural hormones, medicine to increase egg production, and one more...can't recall that one. We went through so much information but I do have it in my packet. :)
4. Mid-January- IVF

I'm so lucky to have the family that I do. Mom, dad, and Kelly are taking turns riding with me when Kyle doesn't have to be there so we can save his days for when he has to go. And I've had friends offer to go if needed. In the past, I just went by myself. But this time I wanted someone with me at all times. I think I need the security. And, I like the company. :)

Fly By

I actually have lots I want to write about. I just haven't had the time lately. I'm working only 3 days a week until Christmas so that I have an extra day to paint and make things. An extra day helps tremendously! Just gives me time to run errands if I need to and make deliveries. And occasionally I may sleep in a bit. Oops.

I'll just go at this post with numbers...no particular order.

1. If you haven't seen the movie Courageous, go see it. It is great. Some of the acting is a bit cheesy, but for the most part it's pretty good. Take a tissue because I didn't and had to use my coat...terrible idea. But it's better than sitting there sobbing and not being able to cover your quivering chin. It has good parts in it too, of course. It made you think of parenting, and how you treat others around you. Fantastic movie for guys and dads.

2. Pinterest. Oh, pinterest. How I loathe and love thee. I just can't get enough. Now I just need to learn how to upload my own pictures for others to pin if they wish. I have a great house picked out with great spatial organization and I'm sure Kyle will go right along with this great fairy tale of mine. It is amazing. And the recipes....ahhh. Nutella puppy chow, cheesecake in a jar, caramel apple cupcakes. It's just the best thing ever.

3. New projects- I have a craft fair coming up this Saturday and I wanted to have new, different stuff for it. I bought some signs from hobby lobby with a Christmas theme. I'm taking my cricut and hopefully will just be working away! My mom and sisters have un-selfishly volunteered to help me which I am very grateful for. I ordered new bags (like for when people buy something I can put their purchase in), and got those in today. You would think it was Christmas. I was excited over a box full of bags...geez. Here is a picture I haven't posted to facebook yet because it is new to the craft show. And of course, the idea came from pinterest! I have several different backgrounds but just took a picture of one.

Mom helped me a bunch with these. I love them!

4. IVF class is scheduled for November 28th. At this class, we will go over the monstrous packet we got in the mail and pretty much sign our life away...not really but it is very serious. I will have another ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone. They won't do the IVF with a cyst so we pray that is gone. Hopefully we can do the cycle sometime in December, but don't want to rush anything. I want to just do it whenever is best with the best chances of it working. Thank you so much to those who sent me messages or notes recently. It makes my heart melt to know that that many people care and are praying. God is just revealing to me day by day to look at His face. Stop worrying about and trying to fix things. The only thing I need to be "fixing" is my eyes on Christ. Then all other will fall into place. This is a very hard concept for me. I struggle with it daily, several times a day. But I am trying.

That's all for now. Maybe it won't be so long before I post next time~

Keep Calm and Carry On

The answer is no, it didn't work. First round of IVF is in the process, as of today. We need lots of prayers and here is what we need specifically:

1. That it will work
2. That Kyle and I can understand each others feelings and talk about it without getting upset
3. That I will not stress out about it
4. That Kyle will be able to help me with the shots
5. That financially we will be ok with whatever we end up having to pay out-of-pocket, which I think should only be the medicine. But the medicine is about half the cost of the whole process. We have saved up, knowing we might have to do this; however, it's still a huge amount.
6. That we will be patient and encourage each other

My doctor called me just about 30 minutes ago (9:30 pm) from his house to make sure his nurse went over everything with me and asked me to call him tomorrow to go over my lab results. I was impressed. I, however, was not impressed earlier when it took them 5 times to draw blood. It's always a struggle but I'm pretty sure I'll look like I shoot up tomorrow at work. Finally got it out of my hand.

I've had a sad couple of days, but...I love this:

Keep Calm and Carry On

Two Week Wait

I've read some infertility blogs and learned some new lingo. Here goes:

TWW- two week wait from IUI or IVF until pregnancy test
BFN- Big fat negative (test)
BFP- Big fat positive
TTC- trying to conceive

...and that's all I remember. I try not to read too much of those because you can really get consumed with the whole thing. And it's pretty consuming without reading all of that. I'm still reading the book my mom got me and plan on sharing it with a friend beginning the infertility struggle. It has verses every few paragraphs that are so applicable to my daily life and thoughts. I'm still struggling but trying not to stress. There is nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can do to make it better. We just have to wait and see if it "works." And just go from there. I'm trying not to look at things long-term, but just daily. And that has helped. Sweet Kinley left my house today and said, "Bye, I losh you." Precious, melts my heart. Maybe she will hold me over til we can have our own. :)

Just got done watching Parenthood. I LOVE that show. The most "real" life a sitcom I've ever seen. And I cry every week. And laugh. Go ahead, watch it next week if you haven't been. Tuesdays at 9 on nbc. You can take a peek here.