What's Next

The egg retrieval went great. Before they wheeled me back, another lady comes in moaning and groaning, and kind of screaming (as best you can when you're sedated) at the nurses. Kyle looks at me, and I look at him with the same look. Mentally telling myself not to say a word when I come into recovery! The nurse flies in and says, "She didn't have the same procedure as you! AND, she cried when the blood pressure cuffed kicked on because it hurt!" That gave me a little relief. They had to stick me 4 times to get the IV and finally got it in my forearm. Nice little bruises I have from those.

They were able to retrieve 13 eggs. Fantastic, we thought! They told us they would call each day and let us know how the embryos were doing. So excited. I stayed home from work Wednesday and rested. I got a phone call that only one of the eggs fertilized normally. One? She said there was still hope for the others, they may just be late bloomers. Kinda bummed, but still hopeful at this point.

Yesterday I went back to work. I got a call at 9, and still only one egg. She also said this one only had one cell, which it should have 6-8 at this point. She said they would continue to watch it, and if there is any change we would come in for a transfer in the morning (today). Regardless, she would call between 9-930. I was crushed. She didn't sound hopeful, although she tried.

Phone call this morning at 845: no transfer. The embryo had not divided any more.

I do not understand. I am thankful to my husband, family, and friends for just letting me cry, and go through all of the emotions. I did most of that yesterday after the phone call. Today I was just expecting exactly what happened. I know God knows the big picture, and although it hurts and I'm tired (physically and emotionally) there is a reason why this didn't work. But it still doesn't take away the hurt.

The nurse said it was likely due to poor egg quality. I asked if this is why the IUI's didn't work either and she said yes. I could brainstorm all day and try to figure out how to make it better or what to do differently, but there is no point. I cannot change anything.  We did everything EXACTLY like they said. Taking meds at certain times of the day, no caffeine, exercise as I felt comfortable, refrigerating certain medications, making all the appointments. We couldn't have done anything differently. We scheduled a consultation with the Dr. for next Monday. We will go over what happened exactly and discuss further options, if any, and what we want to do.

Our insurance is up, so if we did it again it would be completely out of pocket. But if we have discovered my eggs are poor, and it cannot be changed, we will not try it again. This is not saying we don't have hope that it could happen someday on it's own. I have seen many couples that has happened to.

Just help us pray that we can see the right path to take. Maybe not the end product but at least light up the path a little so we know where to go from here.